Episode 16 & 17 – “DON’T Fake It Until You Make It” with Vanessa Marin

[Valentina]

• What did you learn about yourself?
• What did you learn about culture?
• What was your favorite quote?
• What surprised you most?
• What is one way you can enact what you learned in your own life?
• How can we each help shift the culture and the conversation surrounding this topic?

[Amy]

The thing that I learned about myself while listening to these episodes is that faking orgasm is not the way to connect with a future partner during sex. The thing that I learned about culture is that it expects women to connect with someone when they are not being their true selves. No one should have to expect to connect with a partner if their feelings are not true. The thing that surprised me the most was that men and women have mismatched libidos and that we can learn from our libido. The way that I can enact what I learned in my own life is to feel comfortable enough to turn down a future partner without rejecting them. The way that we can help shift the culture and conversation around this topic is to create more kindness towards our bodies even when we feel like it is betraying us.

[Hope]

I completely agree, Amy. I also think we should create more kindness towards our bodies! More often than not, I feel as if women don’t truly understand the amazing capabilities our bodies hold. We do so much to try and be “submissive,” in sex, in life, to be considered a nice girl…but we are limiting ourselves so much by doing this. I think it is time to start taking Vanessa Marin’s advice and put ourselves first! We should not be creating environments with partners that will not be putting our needs above and or in line with their own! We need to start nourishing the idea that we too should speak up for what we what and need in bed to actually have enjoyable sex.