ModeratorSeptember 7, 2020 at 6:58 am
- What did you learn about yourself?
- What did you learn about culture?
- What was your favorite quote?
- What surprised you most?
- What is one way you can enact what you learned in your own life?
- How can we each help shift the culture and the conversation surrounding this topic?
ModeratorSeptember 7, 2020 at 11:55 am
Growing up with abstinence-only sex education and a conservative family, I faced a lot of sexual shame. I’ve only recently started to become more and more comfortable with my sexuality because I thankfully attended a liberal college and was able to have safe, open conversations with my college friends. I’m still on my journey but I’m proud of how far I’ve come, and I’m thankful I found this space to grow alongside others with similar stories.
ModeratorSeptember 7, 2020 at 1:44 pm
My school had used scare tactics during as sex ed instead of teaching us how to stay safe, sexuality, and other useful lessons we should have learned. A lot of my friends and I had learned about sex through the internet which helped us understand ourselves and what to expect, but it also exposed us to incorrect information that we’re still unlearning.
I hope that our sex education changes for the better soon. People deserve a right to know what’s going on inside their bodies and how to stay safe. I also hope that the next generation gets more opportunities to learn in a safe, non judgemental environment.
MemberSeptember 8, 2020 at 1:28 pm
The thing that I learned about myself listening to this episode is that I go through sexual shame in that I sometimes feel that I would not be enough for a potential partner. The thing that I learned about culture is that it tells women that you have to look a certain way for a man to think that you are worth his time. The thing that surprised me most is that a person’s religion plays a major role in how someone values themselves. The way that I can enact what I learned in my own life is to see the value of myself and my body. The way that we can shift the conversation and culture when it comes to sex shame is to educate people more and hopefully improve sex education and not focus so much on abstinence only.
ModeratorSeptember 10, 2020 at 12:58 pm
I completely agree, Amy! Due to my lack of education on sex amidst middle school/high school I imagined myself having to be a virgin or someone who had a developed body to even be considered desirable, by anyone…and that is ridiculous. I believe that with better sex-ed courses kids won’t have to feel like they have only one option (abstinence) and that they can feel comfortable speaking to their parents about contraceptives or how to be safe if they don’t choose to abide by their “only option.” Sex has arguably been framed as being something you want to do when you’re in love with someone or wanting to have a kid, so often times it is discouraged completely to just feel pleasure and this is something kids growing up need to know is ok. Feeling pleasure is o.k. If you don’t want to marry the person? That’s fine! If you do want to marry the person? That is also fine! Luckily I had an open relationship with my mom and she encouraged me to take my own path, but I can’t imagine all of the poor kids that don’t have this resource to aid them in discovering what is the safest path they do want to take,
ModeratorSeptember 14, 2020 at 5:44 am
This episode made me think about the sex education I had when I was younger and made me realize that I actually had none. At my school they only tought us about the anatomy part and the multiple diseases you could get from having sex and as for my mom she has always treated that topic as taboo.
I was lucky enough to have great friends to talk to when I had questions and doubts. They got the same sex education from our school but their moms had opened conversations with them so I felt safe talking to them about it.
But that doesn’t happen very often. So I really hope that parents are becoming more open and understanding with the topic and that willl probably allow schools to start changing their methods on how to talk about sex without any shame or taboo.
ModeratorSeptember 14, 2020 at 10:29 am
Don’t we all as women receive little to non sex-ed at home? Coming from a highly conservative Latin family, I got used to the idea of labeling “sex” as a “taboo” topic that should not ever be mentioned in public let alone with the opposite sex. Even at school I remember they would split us up (men vs women) to give us “the talk” and by different educators and therefore we all had different concepts about how to express our sexuality and what having sex really meant being a women vs being a men. It was not until college that I started deconstructing these archaic ideas that for so long caused in me self-shame. I no longer feel like I am disrespecting my culture or any other institution for that matter, I feel more empowered and free by just enjoying myself safely and getting more information from actual experts like in here at BBXX!
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