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Home Forums The BBXX Podcast: Let’s Get Intimate! Episodes 1 & 2 – “Today’s Not So Liberated Sex Culture” – with Peggy Orenstein Reply To: Episodes 1 & 2 – “Today’s Not So Liberated Sex Culture” – with Peggy Orenstein

  • Jessica

    August 31, 2020 at 12:04 pm

    Safe sex and healthy relationships weren’t discussed in my sex ed classes in grade school nor in my conservative Chinese home, so I didn’t actually safely navigate the waters of sexuality, intimacy, and relationships in an empowering way until sophomore year of college. This episode really spoke to me (and made me wish I knew about BBXX sooner!).

    Some key points/quotations for me were

    • Statistically having more of a likelihood of naming boy’s body part but not girl’s and how that contributes to making female sexuality unspeakable/taboo
    • The disparity between male vs female puberty education (periods and unwanted pregnancy vs erections and ejaculation)
    • “Fewer than half of girls aged 14 to 17 have ever masturbated… And then they go into their partner experience and we expect in some miraculous way / magical thinking that they’re gonna think it’s about them, that they’re gonna feel like…they can voice their wants, their limits, their needs, or even know what those would be”
    • “I was not raped is a very low bar for a sexual experience”
    • Sarah McLellan’s study showing how “young women are more likely not, if not entirely, but more likely than young men to define their pleasure by their or their satisfaction by their partner’s pleasure”
    • “Research shows that when young women feel more in control, when they understand their bodies, when they understand orgasm, when they understand their own, wants, desires, needs, limits, they have a higher standard and experiences”
    • Should be focusing on men not perpetrating but NYT found this one program that discussed sex-positive sexuality, relationship, education, refusal skills, etc. reduced young women’s risk of victimization
    • Seen benefits of Dutch education talk to both boys and girls early and often about sex, sexual pleasure, and the importance of love