BBXX Forum

Find answers, ask questions, and connect with our
community around the world.

Home Forums The BBXX Podcast: Let’s Get Intimate! Episode 3 – “Let’s Get Cliterate! Narrowing The Orgasm Gap” – with Laurie Mintz Reply To: Episode 3 – “Let’s Get Cliterate! Narrowing The Orgasm Gap” – with Laurie Mintz

  • Jessica 

    August 31, 2020 at 12:54 pm

    Some of my key takeaways/quotations were

    • Stress affects women’s sex drive much more than it does men’s
    • Most men have this linear model of desire (horny, sexual activity, arousal, satisfaction, orgasm, end) that we thought applied to both men and women but most women have a circular model (“instead of waiting to be horny to have sex which as you age as you’re stressed out may never happen, you need to have sex to get horny because women’s desire and arousal are more intertwined”)
    • Misguided ideas based on media so people often think something’s wrong with them when it’s really normal human sexual functioning, e.g., men thinking they should be lasting 30 minutes but the average is 3-5 minutes
    • Normality anxiety, e.g,. when talking about sexual frequency with your partner, shouldn’t ask “Is that enough? Should I do it more? What’s normal?” The question should be “Are you both happy with that frequency?”
    • “Forget the images; forget what you think you should. There’s a saying psychologists have ‘Don’t should on yourself.’ [Ask] is it working for you? Are you happy? Are you unhappy? And it’s hard sometimes to differentiate what we think we should do.”
    • Studies show “1.2% of women pleasure themselves exclusively by putting something in their vagina” and the rest use external stimulation
    • “70% of women are faking orgasm during intercourse and all that does is train your partner to do what doesn’t work for you”
    • “If your partner doesn’t care about your pleasure whether you’re male, female, or anywhere on the scale, that is not the norm, that is not a characteristic of a healthy relationship nor should anyone think it is.”
    • “Not all satisfying sex ends in orgasm…the best sex is when both people involved get to the point where they’re focused on themselves and fully immersed in their own pleasure and if we can let go of this achievement-oriented goal”