Humans of Intimacy: Nati Valderrama

There are conversations that shape the way you view the world. 

In my case, it was a conversation I had with my father about relationships that shaped the way I live mine. I was wondering why his relationship with my mother had failed. After 20 years together, he decided to walk away from the relationship. That’s a story for another day, but the following really stuck with me:

A partnership or a relationship is like a 4-legged table.

Ideally, your relationship will have all four legs.

If it were to only have three, it would be a bit wobbly… but it would still stand. If the table only has two legs, or one, it will fall over.

In my parents’ case, they were lacking two of these legs, and inevitably, the relationship came to a close.

I look at my relationship with my husband, and we have three pretty solid legs and one that we’re constantly working on. If we ever got to a point when 2 of our legs were past the point of fixing, then we’d know it’s time to go our separate ways.

But for now, the table is pretty solid and our wobbly leg gives us something to work on, together.


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