Prioritizing Your Intimacy
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INTRODUCTIONWelcome to Prioritizing Your Intimacy!1 Topic
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The science behind prioritizing your intimacyWhat do we mean by intimacy?
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The science behind prioritizing your intimacy1 Topic
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Love languagesLove languages1 Topic
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AffectionCatch your partner doing something right1 Topic
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Catch your partner doing something rightAffection
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Love MapsThe importance of showing affection1 Topic
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Appreciation, recognition, and empathyThe principle of building Love Maps1 Topic
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Appreciation
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Recognition
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Empathy
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The Four HorsemenHomework
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ListeningThe Four Horsemen1 Topic
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Don't try and cheer your partner upListen and learn
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Transforming criticism into wishesDon't always try and cheer your partner up1 Topic
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Process an argumentTransforming criticism into wishes1 Topic
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Is Not Rocket ScienceProcessing is a process1 Topic
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The 6-second kiss & the 20-second hugYour sexual relationship "is not rocket science"1 Topic
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Talking about sexThe 6 second kiss & the 20 second hug1 Topic
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How many times a weekHow to learn and grow & what turns you on1 Topic
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How to reject your partnerIs there a magic number?
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The art of compromiseHow to turn down sex1 Topic
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Self care isn't selfishWhat is a compromise?1 Topic
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Mutual masturbationSelf care isn't selfish1 Topic
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SmartphonesMutual Masturbation = Hot AF
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Happiness is loveSmartphone sabotage1 Topic
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Happiness = Love
Fact:
Listening is an essential part of building love and trust between partners.
Fact:
Statistically speaking, most people aren’t good listeners…
Fact:
It’s an acquired skill!
So the good news is that you can still become one. It’s not only an acquired skill, but a very necessary one to have.
An important part of every inquiry, discussion, or conflict is to approach it from the angle of curiosity. Before we can accuse someone of something, we best make sure we try and understand why something happened- why someone acted or reacted a certain way, why they communicated or failed to communicate a certain way, and what they were thinking, what their reasoning was behind it. Think of every conversation as an opportunity to learn.
Listening can be an especially difficult gift to give when you don’t feel as though it is being reciprocated. Feeling as though we are being heard is extremely important, without which the culmination of an argument might simply be someone losing their patience as a consequence or yelling in a desperate attempt to accomplish it.
You may have a great response ready to go, ready to interrupt to get it across. It’s easy to happen in any situation- with coworkers, friends, and family. We’re are all guilty of doing this at some point, and it can be very problematic, because if we’re already thinking about how we will respond we’re not fully attentive and mindful of what our partner is actually saying to us.
Remember that we can’t ever resolve a problem, let alone learn from it and prevent it from happening again, if we don’t fully understand why it happened. Being heard should not have to be demanded, it should be a respect we give to others and receive in return. Sometimes the more we listen and the less we say, the more people actually open up to us. This is a vital skill that you can practice and learn from in your relationships of all kinds.
Learn three steps to practicing healthy listening:
Shift the focus away from yourself and postpone your own agenda as you tune into the other person’s world. It’s not about being interesting, it’s about being interested.
It’s your job as a listener to be present with the other person. Do not minimize their feelings. Do not try to make them feel better. Your goal is just to understand. You can do this by asking open-ended questions and by avoiding judgment.
A powerful way to be there for the other person is to repeat back what you heard in your own words. For example: “I hear you saying that you really miss the times we used to go out for dinner and a movie. I understand that. I miss those times, too.” Don’t problem solve.