Processing is a process

Think back to the last few arguments or tiffs you’ve had- with your partner or with anyone at all.
Was the argument actually about anything big? Was it due to a miscommunication, a misunderstanding, or a lack of communication? How much of the argument could have been spared with better communication?

We spend so much of our time in the aftermath of an argument, but often times not in a productive way. What if we told you that you could spare yourself much of the time, energy, and negative consequences of an argument?

THE IMPORTANCE OF PROCESSING

It’s important to process your arguments. If you don’t, resentment and emotional distance can show up in your relationship over time.

Processing requires you to be able to talk about what happened without starting another fight. Wait until you’re both calm.  Imagine you’re sitting in the balcony of a theater looking down at yourselves on the stage. Play the situation over again in your mind.

– How did the argument start? Do you even remember?
– How could it have been avoided? How can you improve the process next time around?
– What did you learn?

In the aftermath of a fight, the goal of processing is greater understanding. Remember that conflict is an opportunity to learn how to love each other better over time. Everyone argues, but those who do it poorly experience damage to their relationship as a result, while those who do it right actually become stronger in the long term as a result!