- Casual Conversations: The Art of Self-Discovery
- Episode 57: Masculine vs. Feminine vs. HUMAN
- Casual Conversations: Don’t Apologize for Being Human
- Episode 56: The Complexity of Simplicity
- Casual Conversations: The Paradox of Perfection
- Food For Thought: Jealousy vs. Envy
- Food For Thought: Thankful vs. Grateful
- Episode 55: To Care for Others, Care for Yourself
- Casual Conversations: Anxiety, Boundaries, and Meditation
- Episode 54: Accessibility & Equity in Mental Health Care
- En Español: El Poder de la Mente Sobre el Cuerpo
- Episode 53: Sexual Liberation & The Wisdom of Aging
- Episode 52: Cohabitation, Gender Roles, and The Summer of Love
- Episode 51: The Lies We Tell Ourselves About The Truth
- Episode 50: An Industry of Injustice (4/4)
- Episode 49: This Is Actually Happening (3/4)
- Episode 48: Standing By vs. Being An Ally (2/4)
- Recommendations & Reviews: Boogie Nights
- Food For Thought: Contradiction vs. Complementation
- Food For Thought: Curiosity vs. Criticism
- Episode 47: Sexual “Empowerment” Sells (1/4)
- Recommendations & Reviews: The Culture Map
- Food For Thought: Celebrating The Small Wins
- Food For Thought: The Many Roads To Happiness
- En Español: Sexualidad e Igualdad
- Casual Conversations: Communication, Mindfulness, and Pleasure
- Food For Thought: Operational Definitions
- Food For Thought: Memory Tissue
- Episode 46: The Nutrition Facts of Life
- Casual Conversations: The Lost Art of Letter Writing
- Food For Thought: Attribution Theory
- Food For Thought: Coronavirus vs. Connection
- Bonus Episode: The Psychology of Solitary
- Episode 45: Love, Loss & The Meaning Of Life (2/2)
- Episode 44: Love, Loss & The Meaning Of Life (1/2)
- Live Workshop: Navigating Anxiety During COVID
- Episode 43: The Body Knows Best
- Episode 42: (Un)Censoring Pleasure
- Episode 41: Bring On The Heat (2/2)
- Episode 40: Bring On The Heat (1/2)
- Episode 39: The Myth of Marriage (2/2)
- Episode 38: The Myth of Marriage (1/2)
- Episode 37: Same Page, Different Book (2/2)
- Episode 36: Same Page, Different Book (1/2)
- Episode 35: Humans In Progress (2/2)
- Episode 34: Humans In Progress (1/2)
- Episode 33: The Strength In Our Scars (2/2)
- Episode 32: The Strength In Our Scars (1/2)
- Episode 31: Masculinity & Authenticity (2/2)
- Episode 30: Masculinity & Authenticity (1/2)
- Episode 29: Addiction & Intimacy – From Harm to Healing (2/2)
- Episode 28: Addiction & Intimacy – From Harm to Healing (1/2)
- New Trailer: Let’s Get Intimate!
- Episode 27: You Can’t Be What You Can’t See (2/2)
- Episode 26: You Can’t Be What You Can’t See (1/2)
- Episode 25: Why Relationships Fail vs. Flourish (2/2)
- Episode 24: Why Relationships Fail vs. Flourish (1/2)
- Episode 23: The Evolution of (Non)Monogamy (2/2)
- Episode 22: The Evolution of (Non)Monogamy (1/2)
- Episode 21: “Pleasure Is The Measure” (2/2)
- Episode 20: “Pleasure Is The Measure” (1/2)
- Episode 19: Sex Sells? Or Insecurity Sells… (2/2)
- Episode 18: Sex Sells? Or Insecurity Sells… (1/2)
- Episode 17: DON’T Fake It ‘Til You Make It (2/2)
- Episode 16: DON’T Fake It ‘Til You Make It (1/2)
- Episode 15: Mindfulness For Sexual Connection
- Episode 14: Keeping It “Casual” (2/2)
- Episode 13: Keeping It “Casual” (1/2)
- Episode 12: The Birds & The Bees (2/2)
- Episode 11: The Birds & The Bees (1/2)
- Episode 10: Love & Death
- Episode 9: Communication- Mind and Body
- Episode 8: The Power of Sexual Healing (2/2)
- Episode 7: The Power of Sexual Healing (1/2)
- Episode 6: Redefining Masculinity and “The Million Dollar Point”
- Episode 5: Creating Body Maps and Reconnecting with Pleasure
- Episode 4: (In) Fidelity in The Time of Technology
- Episode 3: Let’s Get Cliterate! Narrowing The Orgasm Gap
- Episode 2: Today’s Not So “Liberated” Sex Culture (2/2)
- Episode 1: Today’s Not So “Liberated” Sex Culture (1/2)
- Episode 0: Google doesn’t have all the answers
- Trailer: Let’s Get Intimate!
Let's Get Intimate!
Episode 10: Love & Death
“Love and death are the greatest gifts given to us, but mostly they are passed on unopened.” — Rainer Maria Rilke
Dr. Jordana Jacobs argues that if we go on pretending we are going to live forever, we are actually suffocating our capacity to give and experience love. In this episode she talks about how only in accepting our inevitable mortality can we truly transform our relationships and begin to live- and love- to the fullest.Give us your feedback Follow us on Instagram! Facebook BBXX website Sign up for our digital “book” club — a twice-weekly curation of the best digital content about identity, sexuality, intimacy, and relationships!
On this week’s episode we speak with Jordana Jacobs, a practicing clinical psychologist who specializes in the relationship between death and our capacity to love, and live, more fully. We hope that you enjoy this eye-opening and inspiring conversation.
Jordana explains that the relationship between love and death is one that is incredibly intertwined. She believes that “love can save you from death, and that death, or the awareness of death, can save love”. She uses a Niche quote to highlight this relationship, “He who has a why to live for can bear with almost any how,” because the why is almost always LOVE.
Life and Death
Some people feel at their best when they are living near the edge of death – like extreme athletes. There can be a kind of clarity when facing death that can help people live more fully and be more present. There’s a thrill in quieting the chatter of your mind while feeling like you are in control of your life and your existence.
Death Primes & Awareness Exercises
Consciously bringing thoughts of death into your awareness reminds you that life is impermanent. These can be done with a reminder on your phone, with an extreme activity, or with other external factors that help bring death into your conscious awareness. These can allow us to really feel love in the present.
Procreation and Loss
When we are primed for death, people have the desire to procreate so that we can leave a piece of ourselves behind. When we become conscious about our fears surrounding death, we can better examine and understand our desires.
The more we accept and embrace and allow inevitable mortality and surrender to it – the more we’re able to surrender to love. And that’s the key.
Acceptance over Resistance
The resistance to death is futile, because it is inevitable, so acceptance of death allows for potential meaning and love to open us to the process of suffering being meaningful and not just painful.
Daily Feelings of Love
By practicing death awareness, we can begin to really feel love on a daily basis so that we can more fully embody our feelings. We can express our love more openly and presently when we can drop into our feelings.
About the Expert
Dr. Jordana Jacobs is a licensed clinical psychologist with years of experience treating patients in the New York City area. Her research primarily focuses on the relationship between death awareness and love (dissertation: “Till Death do us Part: The Effect of Mortality Salience on Satisfaction in Long-Term Romantic Relationships”). She now gives presentations and lead retreats aimed towards helping people accept inevitable mortality, so that they may live and love more fully.