- Episode 51: The Lies We Tell Ourselves About The Truth
- Episode 49: This Is Actually Happening (3/4)
- Episode 48: Standing By vs. Being An Ally (2/4)
- Recommendations & Reviews: Boogie Nights
- Food For Thought: Contradiction vs. Complementation
- Food For Thought: Curiosity vs. Criticism
- Episode 47: Sexual “Empowerment” Sells (1/4)
- Recommendations & Reviews: The Culture Map
- Food For Thought: Celebrating The Small Wins
- Food For Thought: The Many Roads To Happiness
- En Español: Sexualidad e Igualdad
- Casual Conversations: Communication, Mindfulness, and Pleasure
- Food For Thought: Operational Definitions
- Food For Thought: Memory Tissue
- Episode 46: The Nutrition Facts of Life
- Casual Conversations: The Lost Art of Letter Writing
- Food For Thought: Attribution Theory
- Food For Thought: Coronavirus vs. Connection
- Bonus Episode: The Psychology of Solitary
- Episode 45: Love, Loss & The Meaning Of Life (2/2)
- Episode 44: Love, Loss & The Meaning Of Life (1/2)
- Live Workshop: Navigating Anxiety During COVID
- Episode 43: The Body Knows Best
- Episode 42: (Un)Censoring Pleasure
- Episode 40: Bring On The Heat (1/2)
- Episode 41: Bring On The Heat (2/2)
- Episode 39: The Myth of Marriage (2/2)
- Episode 38: The Myth of Marriage (1/2)
- Episode 37: Same Page, Different Book (2/2)
- Episode 36: Same Page, Different Book (1/2)
- Episode 35: Humans In Progress (2/2)
- Episode 34: Humans In Progress (1/2)
- Episode 33: The Strength In Our Scars (2/2)
- Episode 32: The Strength In Our Scars (1/2)
- Episode 31: Masculinity & Authenticity (2/2)
- Episode 30: Masculinity & Authenticity (1/2)
- Episode 29: Addiction & Intimacy – From Harm to Healing (2/2)
- Episode 28: Addiction & Intimacy – From Harm to Healing (1/2)
- New Trailer: Let’s Get Intimate!
- Episode 27: You Can’t Be What You Can’t See (2/2)
- Episode 26: You Can’t Be What You Can’t See (1/2)
- Episode 25: Why Relationships Fail vs. Flourish (2/2)
- Episode 24: Why Relationships Fail vs. Flourish (1/2)
- Episode 23: The Evolution of (Non)Monogamy (2/2)
- Episode 22: The Evolution of (Non)Monogamy (1/2)
- Episode 21: “Pleasure Is The Measure” (2/2)
- Episode 20: “Pleasure Is The Measure” (1/2)
- Episode 19: Sex Sells? Or Insecurity Sells… (2/2)
- Episode 18: Sex Sells? Or Insecurity Sells… (1/2)
- Episode 17: DON’T Fake It ‘Til You Make It (2/2)
- Episode 16: DON’T Fake It ‘Til You Make It (1/2)
- Episode 15: Mindfulness For Sexual Connection
- Episode 14: Keeping It “Casual” (2/2)
- Episode 13: Keeping It “Casual” (1/2)
- Episode 12: The Birds & The Bees (2/2)
- Episode 11: The Birds & The Bees (1/2)
- Episode 10: Love & Death
- Episode 9: Communication- Mind and Body
- Episode 8: The Power of Sexual Healing (2/2)
- Episode 7: The Power of Sexual Healing (1/2)
- Episode 6: Redefining Masculinity and “The Million Dollar Point”
- Episode 5: Creating Body Maps and Reconnecting with Pleasure
- Episode 4: (In) Fidelity in The Time of Technology
- Episode 3: Let’s Get Cliterate! Narrowing The Orgasm Gap
- Episode 2: Today’s Not So “Liberated” Sex Culture (2/2)
- Episode 1: Today’s Not So “Liberated” Sex Culture (1/2)
- Episode 0: Google doesn’t have all the answers
- Trailer: Let’s Get Intimate!
Let's Get Intimate!
Episode 11: The Birds & The Bees (1/2)
On this week’s episode we bring you part one of our two-part conversation with Dr. Logan Levkoff, a parenting and sexuality expert who encourages honest and open conversations about sexuality throughout childhood and adolescence. We hope that you feel empowered by this discussion and able to be more open and honest within your own life.
Sexuality Throughout the Lifespan
Sexuality exists in us throughout our lives and is comprised of our sexual orientation, how we express our gender and our gender identity, our sexual desires, the roles we communicate and act on in our relationships, and all of our values associated with sexuality and our bodies. It’s an incredibly important aspect of who we are.
Impacts on our Sexuality
Various different elements can affect the development of sexuality throughout our lives including (but not limited to) the culture we live in, media we consume, our family values, the politics of our environment, religion and religious traditions, relationships that we have, and the health of those relationships as they affect who we are and what we do.
Our family is usually our first relationship model, which means that we can tend to fall into patterns that we have seen and grown up around. Sometimes those models can be positive, and sometimes they can be negative. We aren’t destined to repeat our childhoods, but it
takes work to change our behaviors.
Breaking the Cycle
The first time a child parrots back something we may have said – it’s a tremendous wake up when you realize – uh oh, they’ve been listening the whole time.
One important tool to use in raising a kid is to acknowledge your mistakes to them. Taking accountability models positive behaviors and ownership over mistakes – since we will all make mistakes!
Kids and Consent
Asking for consent about daily things – like posting a photo online or giving a hug – gives you an opportunity to model consent behavior in various ways.
Age Appropriate Conversations
Kids will ask questions when we least expect them and sometimes we aren’t prepared. One way to ease into the conversation is asking how the question came up for them: have they been learning about it at school, watching a specific show, etc.? This allows you an opportunity to better understand where they are coming and helps you craft your answer. Be honest. Use the
information you know they have to explain the answer to them. A good example of this is using the creation of pregnancy as a recipe – with various ingredients and tools – as it’s easier for younger kids to understand.
Our kids simply want to know that someone they love and trust, and that loves them unconditionally, is going to be there to answer their questions.
Do’s and Don’ts
Do: Get context around the topic and question, tell the truth, and be positive!
Don’t: Assume they know and avoid the conversations.
Talking Body Parts
Using correct language as it relates to anatomy is very important because it connects us to our whole body. Even if you use silly names, everyone should teach the proper names too: vulva and penis. Using juvenile language makes us more detached from our bodies which not only makes it harder to talk about when there’s a problem, but also makes it more difficult later on
when talking about pleasure. Having a universal language is essential when talking about sexual health!
Not only is it a common and typical part of development, it’s also important and healthy to want to understand how our bodies function – what they look like, what they feel like. It’s also empowering to learn that your body is capable of feeling pleasure no matter what your relationship status is.
We forget that the hallmark of adolescence is exploring your sexuality… it doesn’t have to be something that’s bad or taboo or unhealthy. In fact, it’s really just the opposite. These are the times when you really figure out who you are, not just as a sexual being and not just body related, but who you are as a partner, as a friend, how you deal with intimate situations. These are our models for the future.
About the Expert
Logan Levkoff is an AASECT Certified Sex Educator and Sex Educator Supervisor and served on the AASECT Board of Directors. She received her Ph.D. in Human Sexuality, Marriage, and Family Life Education from New York University and an M.S. in Human Sexuality Education. Logan is dedicated to perpetuating healthy and positive messages about sexuality and relationships. She speaks on a wide range of issues, including sexual health and sexuality education, trends in sexuality, relationship hurdles, and the role of sexuality in pop culture and politics.