- Episode 49: This Is Actually Happening (3/4)
- Episode 48: Standing By vs. Being An Ally (2/4)
- Recommendations & Reviews: Boogie Nights
- Food For Thought: Contradiction vs. Complementation
- Food For Thought: Curiosity vs. Criticism
- Episode 47: Sexual “Empowerment” Sells (1/4)
- Recommendations & Reviews: The Culture Map
- Food For Thought: Celebrating The Small Wins
- Food For Thought: The Many Roads To Happiness
- En Español: Sexualidad e Igualdad
- Casual Conversations: Communication, Mindfulness, and Pleasure
- Food For Thought: Operational Definitions
- Food For Thought: Memory Tissue
- Episode 46: The Nutrition Facts of Life
- Casual Conversations: The Lost Art of Letter Writing
- Food For Thought: Attribution Theory
- Food For Thought: Coronavirus vs. Connection
- Bonus Episode: The Psychology of Solitary
- Episode 45: Love, Loss & The Meaning Of Life (2/2)
- Episode 44: Love, Loss & The Meaning Of Life (1/2)
- Live Workshop: Navigating Anxiety During COVID
- Episode 43: The Body Knows Best
- Episode 42: (Un)Censoring Pleasure
- Episode 41: Bring On The Heat (2/2)
- Episode 40: Bring On The Heat (1/2)
- Episode 39: The Myth of Marriage (2/2)
- Episode 38: The Myth of Marriage (1/2)
- Episode 37: Same Page, Different Book (2/2)
- Episode 36: Same Page, Different Book (1/2)
- Episode 35: Humans In Progress (2/2)
- Episode 34: Humans In Progress (1/2)
- Episode 33: The Strength In Our Scars (2/2)
- Episode 32: The Strength In Our Scars (1/2)
- Episode 31: Masculinity & Authenticity (2/2)
- Episode 30: Masculinity & Authenticity (1/2)
- Episode 29: Addiction & Intimacy – From Harm to Healing (2/2)
- Episode 28: Addiction & Intimacy – From Harm to Healing (1/2)
- New Trailer: Let’s Get Intimate!
- Episode 27: You Can’t Be What You Can’t See (2/2)
- Episode 26: You Can’t Be What You Can’t See (1/2)
- Episode 25: Why Relationships Fail vs. Flourish (2/2)
- Episode 24: Why Relationships Fail vs. Flourish (1/2)
- Episode 23: The Evolution of (Non)Monogamy (2/2)
- Episode 22: The Evolution of (Non)Monogamy (1/2)
- Episode 21: “Pleasure Is The Measure” (2/2)
- Episode 20: “Pleasure Is The Measure” (1/2)
- Episode 19: Sex Sells? Or Insecurity Sells… (2/2)
- Episode 18: Sex Sells? Or Insecurity Sells… (1/2)
- Episode 17: DON’T Fake It ‘Til You Make It (2/2)
- Episode 16: DON’T Fake It ‘Til You Make It (1/2)
- Episode 15: Mindfulness For Sexual Connection
- Episode 14: Keeping It “Casual” (2/2)
- Episode 13: Keeping It “Casual” (1/2)
- Episode 12: The Birds & The Bees (2/2)
- Episode 11: The Birds & The Bees (1/2)
- Episode 10: Love & Death
- Episode 9: Communication- Mind and Body
- Episode 8: The Power of Sexual Healing (2/2)
- Episode 7: The Power of Sexual Healing (1/2)
- Episode 6: Redefining Masculinity and “The Million Dollar Point”
- Episode 5: Creating Body Maps and Reconnecting with Pleasure
- Episode 4: (In) Fidelity in The Time of Technology
- Episode 3: Let’s Get Cliterate! Narrowing The Orgasm Gap
- Episode 2: Today’s Not So “Liberated” Sex Culture (2/2)
- Episode 1: Today’s Not So “Liberated” Sex Culture (1/2)
- Episode 0: Google doesn’t have all the answers
- Trailer: Let’s Get Intimate!
Let's Get Intimate!
Episode 6: Redefining Masculinity and “The Million Dollar Point”
Masculinity, prostate pleasure, shame, and multiple orgasms. In this episode we talk about the evolution of masculinity over the last few decades- from different cultural stereotypes, to new challenges, and the consequences of “toxic” masculinity. Our guest on the show is Charlie Glickman, the author of The Ultimate Guide to Prostate Pleasure, with whom we also discuss the role of shame in men’s pleasure and the “Million Dollar Point,” a seldom talked about spot that allegedly allows men to have multiple orgasms.Show Notes! Follow us on Instagram! Facebook BBXX website Sign up for our digital “book” club — a twice-weekly curation of the best digital content about identity, sexuality, intimacy, and relationships!
On this episode our guest is Charlie Glickman, sex and relationship coach, and coauthor of the book The Ultimate Guide To Prostate Pleasure. Here we talk about masculinity and the role that cultural stereotypes play in male sexuality and how we can discover new pleasure possibilities through prostate play! So, whether you are curious or wanting to try something new, you’ll enjoy this pleasure-filled conversation.
According to the work that Charlie has conducted over the last 25 years, not much has changed within the field of masculinity. However, there are now more resources for people who want to work on shifting their relationship to masculinity.
One great resource is Brene Brown’s book I Thought It Was Just Me, which examines shame resilience: “Our attitudes about gender roles, some of them get locked into our systems before we are even verbal.” Some suggested tips for incorporating shame resilience:
- Check out Brene Brown.
- Understand that “Shame is the message that I am not accepted as I am”.
- Shame is all about the relationship between two people, and it can be healed within relationships so that people can be seen and valued as they are.
Another way to tackle the binary gender landscape is to better understand the limited box of masculinity. So often men are taught that if they do anything that is stereotypically classified as female, they diminish For example, Charlie states that ”For a lot of people the idea of man
receiving anal penetrative sex means that he loses all of his masculine status, and it’s not just men who believe that”.
In the book The Ultimate Guide to Prostate Pleasure, Charlie spends a chapter discussing what it means to be a man. He surveyed a few hundred people and discovered that when men first experimented with prostate play the three most common things that came up were: 1) Will this
hurt?, 2) Will this be messy?, and 3) Does this make me gay? “We have this idea that to be penetrated, to be fucked, is to lose status”, and because of this, men have lost so much pleasure potential in their bodies, because they have internalized the belief that sexual pleasure is all about their penis.
I firmly believe that the world is going be a better place when more men take it up the ass.
Trying Prostate Pleasure – The 4 Steps
- Lube – and lots of it!
- Breathe and relax the pelvic floor
- Begin the process once you are already turned on. When in an aroused state, the prostate fills with fluid and becomes more erotically sensitive. You could start with masturbation, dirty talk, oral pleasure, or whatever tickles your fancy.
- Recruit a partner or use a toy (the prostate is at a difficult angle to reach by yourself).
Health Benefits of Prostate Play
- Increases blood flow and can be cleansing
- Massage can help alleviate the discomfort of an enlarged prostate, which affects 50% of men aged 50 and 80% of men aged 80.
- Helps break up the biofilm that can reduce the potential for infection.
Talking about your sexual desires with your partner can increase intimacy and vulnerability. By finding the words to speak to your pleasure and desires, you can have a more fulfilling sexual partnership. Here are some tips to enhance connection and intimacy:
- Breathe together – 5 minutes of belly-to-belly breathing can sync you up with your partner.
- By stepping out of compliance and traditional sexual scripts, you step into choice.
- Talk about your pleasure and your experimentation together. This creates a feedback loop so that you can continue to increase the pleasure of your experiences.
- Pleasure mapping you and your partner(s) bodies to that you can easily communicate your desires.
About the Expert
Charlie Glickman PhD is an internationally-acclaimed sexuality educator, writer, speaker, and teacher. He is certified as a somatic sex educator by the American Association of Sexuality Educators, Counselors, and Therapists. Over his 20+ years in the field, Charlie has explored many different sexual communities, learning from each in order to enrich the lives of his clients. His work focuses on sex positivity, masculinity, and queer issues, and his book, The Ultimate Guide to Prostate Pleasure, was released in 2013.