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There is no one single path set out for us. There is no single destination where we might end up and be happy. There is no one person that we could build an incredible relationship with. There is not just one “right” decision. And there is no one single version of who we are. ⁠

Besides, how boring would it be if there were?⁠

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Sasza Lohrey

Hello, hello, thanks for tuning in to this new series of the BBXX podcast. We wanted to bring you more content, specifically more BBXX original content. And we’re using this as a chance to experiment with different topics, different formats, short format, longer format, casual interviews, more formal interviews, and a bit more fun stuff. So this new series will bring you mainly content from what I am referring to as the food for thought series, which explores different terms and terminology, or questions that might be particularly relevant to now, it might elaborate on something specific from one of our main interviews. Or it might just dive deeper into question that people have been asking me or that I’ve been wondering about myself. But we’ll also include things from fun ratings and reviews for books, movies, other podcasts, etc. To live interviews, and informal interviews with more people, perhaps such as yourself, talking more about personal narrative, and personal experiences that have shaped ourselves, our lives and our relationships. Because as much as there is to be learned from us from BBXX, or any expert, we have just as much that can be learned from all of you, and from each other.

The other day, somebody asked me what my perfect happiness was. And one I don’t think that exists. But it reminded me of my recent interview with Alexandra Fein from Dane products, and how we talked about the importance of exploring all the different versions of ourselves, and getting to know how we’re different with different people, what parts of us we like, or don’t like, what feels authentic, what feels inauthentic, and how actually getting to know the things be it jobs, in your career in a relationship, in sex. learning what we don’t like, really helps us hone in on and better understand what it is that we really do like, or what we’re looking for, for example, in a career or in a relationship is a better example, in the interview. She talked a bit in the context of sex, but more so in these other situations. When people say, go after what you want, or go after you know the person you want the career you want, what do you want to be? That’s not nearly as simple as people make it sound to know exactly what you want to be in? Yes, I think some people grew up knowing they want to be a doctor from when they’re five years old, and they know for the rest of their life, or yes, some people meet somebody in high school, and they know that’s it. But I think for a lot of people, we have no idea. And one because that’s not as easy to figure out as people make it sound and to because there is no one thing one career, one person or one version of ourselves, that could give us incredible joy and happiness. And so I think that there is no perfect happiness, because perfect would imply better than other alternatives. And I think that there is no one path, one destination.

 And this was something that really spoke to me when I heard about an interview with an extremely successful businessman. And he was asked in the interview, if he could imagine what his life would be like if he’d made different decisions if he’d had different outcomes, and if he could imagine himself as happy as he was that day. had things turned out differently? And his answer was extremely simple. Of course, of course he could. He talked about how he had no idea what he would have done, how different his decisions would have been where he would have ended up, he said, for all he knows, maybe he would have become a writer or chef, there’s no way to know. But what he didn’t know, with certainty was that he could have ended up just as happy. And for all he knows, maybe even happier. And so it’s just this amazing reminder that it is wonderful to hone in on the things we already do know that we want, where we want to be who we want to be, but that it’s perfectly fine, if we don’t know. And that if all we’re doing is finding things we don’t like or dating people we don’t like or in a career that we’re not satisfied by. That’s okay, definitely, there’s a learning curve. And so it’s really important to make sure you’re not staying in that situation or that relationship. When you’re no longer learning anything. If it’s not serving you, I often say we should be learning or having fun, ideally, both. But if you’re not doing either, then whether it’s your job or relationship view should get out. And it’s time to keep learning. And maybe it will be something else that won’t be what we expected. But that’s why they’re called expectations. Because sometimes things aren’t what we expect. The results aren’t that. And so it’s important to go into things with intentions.

Perhaps not having expectations that are extremely fixed, or perhaps knowing that it’s very likely they won’t be what we expected. And that’s okay. And we can learn from that. And we should learn from that. And to also remember that we shouldn’t just be looking for one thing, one source of happiness, one route, one perfect outcome. But that all of those things help us really hone in and get closer to whatever version of us whatever version of that happiness we want to have. And that we could be just as good at or just as happy and another circumstance we’re not familiar with. And that all of these other experiences, give us perspective, and help guide us to getting closer to that version of our happiness that might change throughout life. But that can serve us in such an incredible way and that we would perhaps not understand as well and appreciate as much without the perspective, all those other experiences that led us there in the first place.

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Episode Discussion

Home Forums Food For Thought: “The Many Roads To Happiness”

  • Food For Thought: “The Many Roads To Happiness”

  • BBXX 

    November 6, 2020 at 2:25 am
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    • What did you learn about yourself?
    • What did you learn about culture?
    • What was your favorite quote?
    • What surprised you most?
    • What is one way you can enact what you learned in your own life?
    • How can we each help shift the culture and the conversation surrounding this topic?

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